The Parent/ Child Relationship

 I started thinking about this a few days ago as my two year old started falling asleep in my arms. As she laid there, so innocent and peaceful, tears started to fill my eyes. There is an uncomfortable understanding we all have as parents, but in my opinion, we do our best to not bring them to the front of our mind. The truth is one day my baby won’t be a baby anymore, she’ll have her own friends and her own plans and views of the world, and one day I won’t be there to rub her back and tell her I’m there when she starts to wake up at night.

Every moment with her is a moment of purpose, wrapped with excitement and mystery. The best cure for the often overwhelming depression I deal with is seeing that smile or listening to her sweet voice, and while I never let her know I’m not okay, for it’s not her job to comfort me; her natural presence is more than satisfactory.

Parents! Don’t take this time for granted. Don’t allow the foundation of a beautiful parent/ child relationship to not be layer down, that work starts from day one. So many adults move through life carelessly, as if their children owe them something, but that’s simply just not how it goes. Our children never asked for this life they have, and while at some point they’ll have to take the wheel for themselves, we must try our best to build healthy relationships they choose not to turn away from. 

I’m no expert on biology myself, but I would hypothesize that from the moment we’re born we have a longing for a connection to our parents. One that requires love, patience, understanding and guidance. I see viral videos of our misguided children acting out in what seems to be an obvious cry for attention, but when the video cuts rarely do they have what they need. 

Children today are growing up in a time that’s been plagued by high divorce rates. Rates that seems to grow even more after the Covid lockdowns, often leaving them confused or feeling like they’re to blame. They’re growing up in a time where most people are engulfed by amusing online profiles instead of interacting with human beings around them. They are growing up in a time where we are seeing more death as a a result of drug use than ever before leaving many kids without parents. Our children need that guidance and wisdom more than ever. 

I remember that saying “If you don’t raise them somebody will.” Sadly more and more people, especially young men aren’t bothered by this. I couldn’t imagine not holding my newborn baby and feeling that joy and the simultaneous fear that came with it at the hospital. Watching her learn to crawl, say her first words and begin to develop the beautiful, individual personality she’s starting to show.

Accepting your place as a parent does force you to grow up, stop thinking about only yourself and for me constantly ask if I’m doing a good enough job. Sometimes the answer is yes other times I feel the answer is no. I’m not looking forward to the day where I can’t pick that little girl up anymore, but I’m looking forward to the journey. I’ll be there to celebrate her great times, and there to guide her through the lows. God lent me an angel, so I’ll show my appreciation through action. She’s worth it, they all are.